And now, "How to be a Canadian" by Will and Ian Ferguson

Canada's Coat of Arms:

Canada's armorial arms consists of a beaver resplendent beneath a thistle apparent, adjoined by a lion rampant, a muskrat lethargic and maples redundant, bordered with guile superlicious and gralands uncertain...unless it is on display in a Governor General's procession in a month beginning on a Tuesday, if the procession is preceded by a duke or a nobleman of lesser bloodline, but not by a standard-bearer of a third-order gene recessive, in which case the pattern is reversed and all bets are off.

Ay yes, our great British heritage.

I was unaware that muskrats could be lethargic and beavers resplendent. And I have lived in Canada almost my entire life. And I actually understand the part about third order recessive genes from my Bio class. I have self-inflated my IQ by ten points...

Next!

Climate:

In fact, Canada has no fewer than six distinct seasons: Tax; Hockey; More Hockey; Still more Hockey; Summer (aka as the July long weekend, aka "was that it?"); and finally Good God, Isn;t the Hockey Season Over by Now!!

And:

How to Insult Canadians

On the West Coast: "tree-hugging"; "granola munching"; "commie"

In Western Canada: "red-neck"; "fundamentalist"; "Nazi"

in Toronto: "not from a world class city"

Anywhere else in Canada" "torontonian"

In Quebec (when addressing Englsih speakers): "tete carre", "maudits Anglais"

In Quebec (addressing French speakers); "canadian"

In the Maritimes: "Newfie"

In Newfoundland: "Maritimer"

Now I got to go pick up Chris at TaeKwonDo

More Canadian stuff later