To my absent country: Happy Canada Day!!!! Long live the greatest country in the world! Its beavers, igloos, ethnicities, mooses and gooses (sic), Prime Ministers, Newfies, and locals who say "eh"!!

I'd like to introduce you to my friend Joe. Joe is Canadian, as everyone knows.

Joe?

Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader....

I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled....

and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,

although I'm certain they're really really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a president.

I speak English and French, not American.

And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.

I believe in peace keeping, not policing,

diversity, not assimilation,

and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.

A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,

and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!

Canada is the second largest landmass!

The first nation of hockey!

and the best part of North America

My name is Joe!!

And I am Canadian!!!

Thank you, Joe. Happy Canada Day Everyone!